Have you ever found yourself looking to someone else to make you feel secure, loved, or complete? It’s a pattern many of us fall into without even realising it.
But the hard truth is this: Placing your entire sense of safety and self-worth in another person is never sustainable.
Here’s why:
1. The Weight of Being Someone’s “Everything”
When you expect someone else to be your everything, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. One person carries the emotional burden of being your anchor, your cheerleader, and your source of validation—all at once. No matter how much they care, it’s a weight too heavy for anyone to bear.
Relationships built on this kind of dependency often struggle.
They become suffocating, draining, and full of resentment. Why? Because no one person can meet all your needs.
2. The Danger of Codependency
Codependency is a loop where one person’s self-worth hinges on the other’s approval, attention, or presence.
It feels like love, but it’s often rooted in fear—fear of being alone, fear of rejection, or fear of not being “enough.”
When you give someone else the power to determine your happiness, you lose your own. And ironically, the very thing you’re afraid of—losing the relationship—becomes more likely, because codependency suffocates growth.
3. Avoiding Yourself vs. Reclaiming Yourself
Here’s the truth: placing your self-worth in someone else isn’t about them—it’s about you. Often, it’s a way of avoiding the relationship you have with yourself.
If you’re constantly looking outward for love, safety, or validation, it’s time to ask:
Where am I abandoning myself?
What parts of me am I avoiding or suppressing?
Why do I believe someone else’s love will fix what I feel is missing?
Healing starts when you’re willing to face these questions head-on and begin reconnecting with yourself.
4. The Power of Choosing, Not Needing
The healthiest relationships aren’t about need; they’re about choice. They’re built on mutual respect, shared values, and a deep sense of individuality. When you no longer rely on someone else to complete you, you create space for a partnership that enhances your life rather than defining it.
You’ll find that relationships flourish when both people feel free to be themselves, rather than trapped in a cycle of dependency.
5. Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Power
If this resonates with you, know that change is possible. Start here:
💥 Prioritise yourself: Get to know your own needs and meet them first.
💥 Let go of control: Let others make their own choices, and trust that you’ll handle whatever comes next.
💥 Build self-worth: Validate yourself instead of seeking constant approval from others.
The Journey to Becoming Whole
Your sense of safety, self-worth, and happiness can only come from within. When you place these things in someone else’s hands, you lose the opportunity to truly know yourself.
But here’s the good news: you can take that power back.
Are you ready to stop looking outward and start reconnecting with yourself? My program, “Becoming the One,” is designed to help you rediscover your worth, heal old patterns, and create the kind of love you truly deserve—starting with YOU.
Let’s rewrite your story together. 💖