How Our Thoughts Shape Anxiety and Depression: Breaking Free Without Reliving the Pain

Have you ever stopped to think about the sheer power of your thoughts?

Every day, the conversations we have in our minds shape not only how we feel but also how our brains function. Anxiety and depression are deeply tied to our thought patterns, and more and more evidence is emerging to show that these conditions are not as simple as a “chemical imbalance.”

For decades, the idea that mental health issues were purely due to neurotransmitter levels has dominated the conversation. While brain chemistry is a factor, the scientific community is increasingly recognising that our life experiences, belief systems, and the way we interpret the world around us play a massive role.

And the best part? That means there’s hope.

Your Thoughts, Your Brain Chemistry

Every thought you have creates a ripple effect in your brain. Think of it like this: when you have a thought, your brain releases chemicals that align with the emotion tied to it.

Positive, empowering thoughts can stimulate the release of serotonin and dopamine—the feel-good chemicals. But negative, fear-based thoughts trigger cortisol, a stress hormone that can keep you stuck in a cycle of anxiety or low mood.

Over time, patterns of negative thinking don’t just affect your emotions, they shape your brain. This is called neuroplasticity: the brain’s ability to rewire itself.

If repeated enough, thought patterns become hardwired, like grooves on a well-trodden path.

Why Reliving Trauma Isn’t the Answer

Here’s where things get really exciting. Traditional approaches often focus on revisiting painful memories, but what if you didn’t have to go back and relive those difficult experiences to feel better? That’s where hypnotherapy and timeline therapy come in.

Rather than digging into the past, these approaches help you rewrite the subconscious patterns that hold you back—without reliving the pain.

• Hypnotherapy works by accessing the subconscious mind, where 90% of our behaviors, beliefs, and emotions are programmed. It helps you uncover limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and replace them with empowering ones.

• Timeline therapy allows you to resolve emotional wounds by working with your mind’s natural ability to organise memories. You’re guided to revisit and reframe key events from a detached, safe perspective. The result? Relief from old triggers without the emotional overwhelm.

Science Backs the Mind’s Power to Heal

Recent studies highlight the effectiveness of approaches like hypnotherapy. For example, research published in journals like American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis shows that hypnotherapy can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression significantly.

Even more fascinating, your brain doesn’t know the difference between something vividly imagined and something real.

This is why hypnosis works so well, it allows you to reprogram your subconscious as if the change has already occurred.

Why Your Thoughts Are Your Superpower

What makes hypnotherapy and timeline therapy so transformative is that they empower you to shift your focus. Instead of fighting against the negative thoughts, you learn to reframe them, gently guiding your subconscious to create new, positive patterns.

And here’s the beauty of it: your subconscious mind doesn’t argue. It takes in the new narrative and starts making it your reality.

Moving Forward: No More Outdated Narratives

You don’t have to live in the shadow of anxiety or depression. While the chemical imbalance theory dominated the mental health conversation for years, the truth is far more empowering. Your mind has the power to heal.

Through hypnotherapy and timeline therapy, you can step into a new narrative—one where you feel at peace, empowered, and fully in control of your thoughts and emotions.

The change starts with a single thought. Why not make it a powerful one?

Reducing Anxiety : The Holidays Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful: Prioritise YOU

The festive season is often painted as the most magical time of the year.

But for many, it can also bring feelings of overwhelm, stress, and anxiety.

The pressure to create the perfect holiday – the perfect dinner, perfect gifts, perfect family moments – can quickly leave us feeling anxious, exhausted, and far from joyful.

Here’s what I want you to know:
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

If you’ve been searching for ways to help with anxiety or reduce anxiety during this busy season, this is your reminder to slow down, let go of expectations, and prioritise YOU.

Here are six simple ways to make space for calm and connection.

1. Let Go of the Pressure to Be Perfect

The pressure to do it all can make anxiety worse. The truth is, perfection doesn’t exist – it’s an impossible standard that steals your energy and joy.

Instead, ask yourself: What really matters to me?

Focus on the small, meaningful moments. Whether it’s enjoying a quiet cup of tea, laughing with a loved one, or watching a Christmas movie in your PJs – these are the things you’ll remember.

Letting go of perfection is one of the simplest ways to reduce anxiety and reclaim your peace.

2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy

If you’re feeling stretched thin this holiday season, boundaries are your best friend.

• Say no to events or commitments that feel overwhelming.

• Limit time with people who drain your energy.

• Prioritise moments that feel restorative and calming.

Setting boundaries is a powerful way to help with anxiety and protect your well-being. Remember, you don’t have to please everyone , your peace matters.

3. Use Your Breath to Return to Calm

When anxiety creeps in, it’s easy to feel stuck in your thoughts. A simple tool to reduce anxiety quickly is using your breath to ground yourself.

Try this:

• Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 counts.

• Hold for 4 counts.

• Exhale gently through your mouth for 6 counts.

Repeat this a few times, and notice how it calms your body and mind. This practice helps shift you out of “fight or flight” mode, so you can respond from a calmer place.

4. Keep Small, Nourishing Routines

The holidays can throw routines out of the window, which can add to feelings of anxiety. Sticking to simple, grounding habits can help you feel balanced, no matter how busy things get.

• Prioritise sleep – rest is essential to reduce anxiety.

• Move your body daily, even if it’s just a gentle walk.

• Start or end the day with a small ritual: a few deep breaths, a gratitude journal, or 10 minutes of stillness.

These small practices help calm your nervous system and bring more ease into your days.

5. Shift Your Focus From Comparison to Gratitude

Scrolling through Instagram can make it easy to compare your holidays to someone else’s “perfect” photos. But comparison fuels anxiety and takes you away from the beauty of your own life.

Instead, shift your focus to gratitude.

Take a moment to notice one thing you’re grateful for each day – it could be something as simple as the warmth of your home or a text from a friend. Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to shift your mindset and ease anxious thoughts.

6. Prioritise Stillness to Reset Your Mind

When life feels chaotic, stillness is the antidote to overwhelm. Carving out even 5-10 minutes of quiet can work wonders to help with anxiety.

• Light a candle and sit with a cup of tea.

• Listen to calming music or a guided meditation.

• Try a short hypnotherapy session to release tension and reconnect with yourself.

These small pauses create space to breathe, reset, and reconnect to what matters most.

The Holidays Are About Connection, Not Perfection

If you’re feeling anxious this festive season, remind yourself: you don’t have to do it all. The magic of the holidays comes from the moments that make you feel calm, connected, and present.

Prioritise yourself, set boundaries that feel good, and let go of anything that doesn’t serve you. The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of peace.

And if you’re ready for deeper support, hypnotherapy is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety and create calm at a subconscious level.

You deserve to feel good – not just during the holidays, but every day.

✨ If you need help with anxiety this season, I’m here for you. DM me, and let’s make this the year you prioritise YOU.

The 20 Directives of the Unconscious Mind: Your Path to Healing, Growth, and Freedom

Your unconscious mind is one of the most powerful forces within you.

It runs your body, stores your memories, and influences your emotions, beliefs, and behaviours. It’s also responsible for many of the patterns that keep you stuck—whether it’s anxiety, poor health, unhealthy relationships, or struggles in your business.

But here’s the good news: when you understand the 20 prime directives of the unconscious mind, you can learn to work with this incredible part of yourself.

Using tools like hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and breakthrough breathwork, you can release what no longer serves you, rewire your beliefs, and create lasting transformation.

Let’s dive into these 20 directives so you can start creating change at the deepest level.

Prime Directive 1. The Unconscious Mind Stores All Your Memories

The unconscious mind functions like a supercomputer with limitless storage capacity, storing every experience you’ve ever had—whether big or small, good or bad—at a cellular level. Every moment, every emotion, every interaction is recorded and kept safely within the unconscious mind, even those memories you can’t consciously recall. For example, you might not remember a specific event from your childhood, but your unconscious mind holds onto the emotions and experiences from that time, influencing your behavior and reactions today. These stored memories shape how you perceive the world and interact with others, often without you even realizing it.

What’s more, your unconscious mind stores not just the events you remember, but also the emotions and beliefs tied to them. This means that unprocessed or repressed memories can continue to affect your life, even if you're unaware of them. These hidden memories may influence your habits, relationships, and decision-making. By accessing and working with your unconscious mind, you can begin to uncover and release these stored memories, allowing you to heal and move forward with greater clarity and emotional freedom.

• Why it matters: Buried memories of failure, rejection, or fear might still influence your decisions. Hypnotherapy or Time Line Therapy™ helps access and reframe these memories, so they no longer hold power over you.

Prime Directive 2. It Is the Domain of Your Emotions

The unconscious mind doesn’t "think" in the logical, rational sense; it "feels." It is the domain where all of your emotions live, both those you are consciously aware of and those you have buried or suppressed. For example, in relationships, if you’ve experienced hurt or betrayal in the past, those unresolved emotions are stored in your unconscious mind. Even if you think you’ve moved on, the unconscious mind still holds onto that emotional charge, influencing how you react in new relationships or situations. Similarly, in business, feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure from past experiences can unconsciously drive your actions, even if you’re not consciously aware of them.

Because the unconscious mind is so closely linked to emotion, it’s also where you hold limiting beliefs and unresolved feelings that can impact your behavior. If you’ve suppressed anger, sadness, or fear, these emotions might continue to shape your choices, even if you don’t realize it. To heal and move forward, it's important to bring awareness to these emotions, allowing them to be processed and released. By understanding that your unconscious mind is the storehouse of both your conscious and suppressed emotions, you can start to make more empowered decisions and create healthier patterns in all areas of your life.

• Why it matters: You can’t logic your way out of feeling anxious, sad, or angry. Tools like hypnotherapy and breathwork help you process and release these emotions safely.

Prime Directive 3. The Unconscious Mind Organises All Memory

Your unconscious mind organizes and stores all your memories in a “timeline” format, helping you differentiate between past, present, and future experiences.

When you recall a past event, you’re not accessing the raw event itself, you’re accessing your perception of it at the time, shaped by your beliefs and emotions. Interestingly, as your values and beliefs evolve, your perception of that same memory changes too. This is why “time is a great healer”—your unconscious can soften the emotional intensity over time.

• Fascinating Fact: Have you ever noticed that certain triggers—like a song, a smell, or even a random feeling—suddenly bring a memory flooding back? That’s your unconscious mind linking stored memories to sensory cues.

• Why It Matters: Tools like Timeline Therapy can help reorganise these memories, removing the emotional “charge” attached to old experiences. This allows you to move forward without feeling stuck in the past.

Prime Directive 4. It Represses Memories with Unresolved Negative Emotions

To protect you, the unconscious mind pushes overwhelming or painful memories out of your immediate awareness. This is especially true in cases of trauma, where the emotional pain is too much for the conscious mind to bear. For instance, if you’ve experienced trauma—such as abuse, loss, or a deeply painful relationship—your unconscious mind may repress these memories to shield you from the overwhelming emotions tied to them. This repression acts as a defense mechanism, keeping you from reliving the pain. However, even if you don't consciously remember the traumatic event, the emotions associated with it can still affect your behavior, decisions, and relationships.

In some cases, you might find yourself reacting with fear or anxiety in situations that are unrelated to the original trauma. For example, someone who has experienced emotional abuse might unconsciously struggle to trust others, even when the people around them are trustworthy. The unconscious mind holds onto these unresolved emotions, and though the memories may be buried, they can still shape how you experience life. Healing these repressed memories by bringing them to the surface and processing the emotions attached to them can help free you from the lingering effects of trauma, allowing you to move forward with greater emotional freedom and resilience.

• Why it matters: These repressed memories often show up as anxiety, physical tension, or self-sabotage. Hypnotherapy or Time Line Therapy™allows you to gently release these emotional burdens.

Prime Directive 5. It Presents Repressed Memories for Resolution

When we go through trauma or emotional pain, the unconscious mind represses those memories to protect us from overwhelming distress. However, once we begin to heal and create emotional stability, the unconscious sees this as an opportunity to bring those unresolved feelings to the surface for healing.

For example, after a period of peace or personal growth, you might suddenly feel intense sadness or anger about a past traumatic event, like an abusive relationship or a painful loss. It can seem confusing, as you might wonder why this is coming up when things are “good.” But this is actually a sign that your mind recognizes you’re now in a place where you can process those emotions and release them. Your unconscious mind isn’t bringing them back to hurt you—it’s offering you the chance to finally resolve them and heal deeply, freeing you from the grip of past pain so you can move forward with greater emotional clarity and strength.

• Why it matters: If this happens, it’s a sign you’re ready to let go of the past. You can use tools to help you process in a less painful way.

Prime Directive 6. It May Keep Repressed Emotions Hidden for Protection

The unconscious mind will only reveal what it believes you can handle, keeping repressed emotions hidden until it feels you're ready to face them. When we experience overwhelming pain or trauma, the unconscious mind often represses these emotions as a protective measure, preventing us from being flooded with feelings we might not be equipped to process at the time. For instance, if you've experienced a traumatic event—such as the sudden loss of a loved one or a deep betrayal in a relationship—the unconscious may choose to keep those emotions buried until you’re emotionally stronger or in a safer space to heal.

This process can sometimes feel frustrating, especially if you feel stuck or like you're not moving forward. However, the unconscious mind is only revealing what it believes you can manage. For example, you may find that, at first, you're able to cope with surface-level sadness or anger, but deeper feelings of grief or betrayal may only surface later when you're more resilient. This is a sign that your unconscious mind is offering you the opportunity to confront and heal those emotions at the right time, when you have the inner resources to process them, ultimately leading to deeper healing and emotional freedom.

• Why it matters: If you feel stuck or disconnected, it’s your mind keeping you safe. Working with a skilled therapist using hypnotherapy or breathwork helps you navigate this process safely.

Prime Directive 7. It Runs Your Body and Holds a Blueprint of Perfect Health

The unconscious mind not only regulates essential bodily functions like your heartbeat, digestion, and breathing, but it also holds a blueprint of perfect health. Without you consciously thinking about it, your unconscious mind ensures that your body operates smoothly, keeping all systems in balance. For instance, when you cut yourself, the unconscious mind immediately starts the healing process without any need for you to instruct it. It works tirelessly to maintain your health, supporting you in ways you might not even realise.

Beyond just maintaining basic bodily functions, the unconscious mind holds an innate blueprint of what perfect health looks like for you—an ideal state of well-being. This blueprint isn’t just about the physical body; it also includes your emotional and mental health. However, when there are emotional blocks, stress, or unresolved issues, it can cause disruptions in this perfect blueprint, manifesting in physical ailments or imbalances. By working with the unconscious mind to heal emotional wounds and align your thoughts with well-being, you can unlock the potential to restore the body’s natural state of health, bringing your physical, mental, and emotional systems into harmony.

• Fascinating Fact: When overwhelmed, your unconscious might “signal” you through physical symptoms like migraines, accidents (falling), or chronic pain.

Prime Directive 8. It Preserves the Body

The unconscious mind’s top priority is survival and maintaining the integrity of your body. It works tirelessly to protect you from harm and to ensure that your physical well-being is preserved. For example, if you touch something hot, your unconscious mind triggers a reflex to pull your hand away before you even consciously register the pain, keeping you safe. Similarly, when you face stress or danger, your unconscious mind activates the fight-or-flight response, preparing your body to protect itself from perceived threats.

Even beyond immediate threats, the unconscious mind is continuously working to preserve your overall health and well-being. When you experience emotional or physical stress, the unconscious mind may create protective mechanisms, such as developing physical symptoms (like headaches or fatigue) as a way of signaling that something is off balance. In this way, the unconscious not only defends your body from external harm but also from internal emotional or psychological distress. By understanding this protective role, you can begin to address the underlying emotional or mental causes of physical symptoms, helping your body return to a state of balance and health.

• Why it matters: Emotional stress often shows up as physical symptoms. Releasing stored emotions can have a powerful effect on your physical health and energy levels.

Prime Directive 9. It Is a Highly Moral Being

The unconscious mind operates according to the moral codes and values you were taught, often rooted in childhood. From a young age, we absorb the beliefs, rules, and expectations from our family, culture, and society, and the unconscious mind stores these moral guidelines as a framework for how we should behave. For example, if you were taught that honesty is always the best policy, your unconscious mind will guide you to act in accordance with that belief, even in situations where being honest might feel difficult. Similarly, if you grew up with the idea that success requires hard work and sacrifice, your unconscious mind will likely push you to strive for success while possibly feeling guilty if you take time for self-care or relaxation.

These deeply ingrained moral codes help shape your decisions and actions, often without you even realising it.

However, because these codes are formed early on, they can sometimes conflict with your current desires or values. For instance, if your childhood moral code taught you to suppress emotions or avoid conflict, your unconscious mind might cause you to avoid difficult conversations in relationships or business, even when facing these situations would be beneficial. By understanding how your unconscious mind operates based on these early teachings, you can begin to question and realign your moral beliefs to better serve your current goals, values, and well-being.

Why it matters: Outdated beliefs like “success is selfish” or “I don’t deserve love” can hold you back. Hypnotherapy helps you identify and rewrite these beliefs.

Prime Directive 10. It Enjoys Serving but Needs Clear Instructions

The unconscious mind thrives on serving you, but it operates on clear instructions rather than logic or reason. It doesn't question your commands or weigh their pros and cons like your conscious mind does. Whatever you tell it, it follows without hesitation, even if those instructions aren't necessarily in your best interest. For example, if you frequently think, "I’m terrible at relationships," your unconscious mind will focus on reinforcing that belief, seeking out evidence to make it true, and guiding your actions in ways that confirm this self-doubt. Similarly, if you consistently tell yourself, "I’m not good enough," your unconscious will align your behavior with that belief, holding you back from pursuing opportunities for growth or success.

Because the unconscious mind is so responsive to your instructions, it’s essential to be intentional with the messages you send. Clear, positive affirmations or thoughts about what you truly desire will guide the unconscious to work in your favour, helping you achieve the success, health, or relationships you want. The key is to give your unconscious mind positive, empowering instructions, as it will happily work to make them your reality, even if those instructions are based on limiting beliefs or past experiences.

• Fascinating Fact: Saying “I don’t want to fail” focuses your mind on failure. Instead, give it clear, positive instructions like “I am confident and successful.” I like to think of it this way: the conscious mind is the goal setter, and the unconscious mind is the goal getter.

• Why it matters: If you say “I don’t want to feel anxious,” your mind focuses on “anxious.” Instead, say, “I am calm and in control.” Speak to yourself with clear, positive language.

Prime Directive 11. It Controls and Maintains Perception

Your unconscious mind filters how you see the world based on your beliefs, memories, and self-talk. The fascinating part? It doesn’t distinguish between imagination and reality, whatever you focus on becomes your truth.

• In Relationships: If you repeatedly think, “I’m not good enough to be loved,” your unconscious will reinforce that perception. You’ll unconsciously sabotage connections or attract relationships that reflect your belief. Shifting to “I am worthy of love and connection” can reprogram how you experience relationships.

• In Business: If you constantly visualise failure—thinking, “I’ll never hit my goals,”—your unconscious mind accepts this as fact and adjusts your behaviour accordingly (procrastination, lack of motivation, playing small). Instead, vividly visualising success helps your unconscious believe it’s already happening, driving you toward opportunities and results.

• With Anxiety: When you tell yourself, “I can’t cope,” the unconscious mind heightens anxiety to “prove” you right. By calming the nervous system (Using tools such as hypnotherapy or breathwork) this can really help shift your perception.

By consciously choosing your focus and words, you can shift your unconscious perceptions and transform your experiences.

Prime Directive 12. It Generates, Stores, and Transmits Energy

Prime Directive 12 – It Generates, Stores, and Transmits Energy

Your unconscious mind is the powerful source of your physical, emotional, and mental energy. It not only generates this energy but also stores and transmits it throughout your entire system. For example, when you’re feeling energized and motivated, it’s your unconscious mind that’s driving this flow of positive energy, pushing you to take action and achieve your goals. On the other hand, if you’re feeling drained or stuck, it’s the unconscious mind that may be holding onto negative emotions or limiting beliefs, depleting your energy and making it harder to move forward.

The unconscious mind stores emotional and mental energy, and this energy can either work in your favor or against you. If you’re carrying unresolved trauma or unprocessed emotions, these energies can feel heavy and drain your vitality.

However, when you release old, limiting beliefs and reprogram the unconscious with empowering thoughts, you free up mental and emotional energy, allowing it to flow more freely, boosting your physical energy and overall well-being. Essentially, your unconscious mind plays a crucial role in managing your energy levels, and by working with it to align your thoughts and emotions, you can harness that energy to support your personal growth and success.

• Why it matters: Negative emotions drain your energy, while positive states restore it. Techniques like breathwork allow you to clear stagnant energy and feel more alive.

Prime Directive 13. It Maintains Instincts and Generates Habits

Your unconscious mind drives your habits and instincts—whether empowering or destructive.

When most people think of habits, they often focus on the negative ones. But the truth is, habits play a crucial role in helping you achieve what you want in life. Developing positive, energetic habits is one of the best things you can do for yourself. The best part? Habits are largely unconscious behaviors, making them incredibly effective. Anything you can put on autopilot that moves you closer to your goals is definitely a win.

• Why it matters: The habits you cultivate shape your daily actions, and those actions ultimately determine the success and fulfillment you create in your life.

Prime Directive 14. It Needs Repetition to Install New Habits

The unconscious mind learns and adapts through repetition, gradually turning new behaviours into automatic habits. Just like how you learned to walk or tie your shoes, the unconscious mind reinforces actions through consistent practice until they become second nature. For example, if you decide to adopt a new habit, such as exercising regularly or practicing mindfulness, your unconscious mind initially requires repetition to solidify the behavior. Over time, as you repeat the action, it becomes ingrained, and your unconscious mind starts to perform it without conscious effort.

This is why repetition is key when you want to create positive changes in your life. Whether you’re working on shifting your mindset or creating new routines, the more you repeat the desired action or thought, the more it gets embedded in your unconscious programming. Eventually, what once required effort will become effortless, and you’ll find yourself automatically making choices that align with your goals. This process of repetition is essential in building lasting, positive habits that support your growth and success.

Why it matters: Be patient with yourself. Repeated positive thoughts, affirmations, and visualisations will rewire your unconscious mind over time.

Prime Directive 15. It Is Programmed to Seek More

Your unconscious mind is wired to keep growing and discovering more—there’s always another level to reach. The unconscious mind is naturally wired to seek more of whatever we focus on. When we speak to ourselves, we need to be mindful of what we ask it to look for. For instance, if you repeatedly tell yourself, "Why am I so bad at relationships?" your unconscious mind will start searching for evidence to confirm that belief. It will keep finding ways to support that thought until you decide to change it. Essentially, the unconscious mind will work to reinforce whatever instructions you give it, whether those instructions are positive or negative.

• Why it matters: This drive can work against you (e.g., never feeling satisfied) or for you (e.g., constant personal growth). Use it to your advantage.

Prime Directive 16. It Functions Best as a Whole Integrated Unit

The unconscious mind doesn’t operate in isolated "parts"; it functions most effectively when everything—your thoughts, beliefs, and actions—are aligned as a unified whole. The mind and body are interconnected, and when they work in harmony, the unconscious mind performs at its best. Integrity is key in this process, not just in terms of physical health but also in the alignment of your thoughts and emotions. When your mind and body are in sync, there’s a powerful flow of energy that supports personal growth and healing.

For example, when your beliefs about your abilities align with your actions, your unconscious mind can effortlessly guide you toward success. If you believe in your worth and take actions that reflect that belief, your mind and body work together to make those goals a reality. On the other hand, when there’s a misalignment—such as when you think you're capable of achieving something but your actions contradict that belief—this discord can create internal resistance, limiting your potential. When everything is integrated and in harmony, incredible transformations can happen, allowing you to achieve extraordinary results and experience deep, lasting change.

• Why it matters: For example, you want a relationship but feel “part of me doesn’t trust relationships”, and when you dig deeper, you realise how this belief is out of alignment with your desire for love and connection.

Prime Directive 17. It Is Symbolic

The unconscious mind uses and responds to symbols, metaphors, and imagery. The unconscious mind communicates through symbols, linking shapes and images to our emotional states. In my NLP work with clients, I often ask them to recall a past experience. For some, this might appear as a clear mental snapshot, while for others, it could take the form of abstract shapes, swirling colours, or even a vague sense of something present without any distinct image. These mental representations are metaphors drawn from the neural networks in our brains. It's essential to understand that there’s no actual picture stored—what we "see" is the unconscious mind’s way of encoding experiences and attaching meaning to them.

• Why it matters: Visualisation, affirmations, and even dreamwork can help you communicate more effectively with your unconscious mind.

Prime Directive 18. It Takes Everything Personally

Your unconscious mind interprets everything you say or think about yourself as true. The unconscious mind takes everything personally, and this is often reflected in how we perceive others. A concept called "perception is projection," introduced by Carl Jung, explains this idea. Simply put, what we notice in others is often a reflection of what we feel or believe about ourselves. For example, if you struggle with trust in relationships, you might project that insecurity onto your partner, assuming they’re not trustworthy, even if they’ve done nothing to prove that. In business, if you've experienced failure, you might see others' success as a reflection of your own shortcomings, believing you’re incapable of achieving similar results.

When you understand that others' behavior is not a reflection of their worth but rather their own experiences, you begin to see that everyone has unlimited potential, just like you. The key question becomes: if you truly believe everyone has the potential to achieve their goals, what does that reveal about your own self-belief?

• Why it matters: Be kind with your self-talk. Say “I am worthy,” not “I’m a failure.” Words have power.

Prime Directive 19 – It Works on the Principle of Least Effort

The unconscious mind operates on the principle of least effort, always seeking the path of least resistance. It prefers what’s familiar, even if that familiarity isn’t serving you well. For example, in relationships, if you’ve been in toxic situations in the past, your unconscious mind might lead you to recreate those dynamics, simply because it’s what feels comfortable, even though it may not be healthy. Similarly, in business, if you’ve experienced failure or struggled with self-doubt, your unconscious mind might push you to avoid new opportunities or take the easier, less challenging route—because that’s what feels "safe," even if it means missing out on potential success.

This principle can work for you or against you. The mind gravitates toward what it knows, so if you've experienced failure, the unconscious might gravitate toward the familiar feeling of failure, keeping you stuck. But if you begin to consciously introduce new, empowering beliefs and behaviors, the unconscious mind will start to adjust, finding new pathways that lead to growth and success. Essentially, by making the unfamiliar familiar—whether that’s in relationships, business, or personal growth—you can rewire your mind to seek out opportunities for success and fulfillment, rather than sticking to old patterns of resistance.

• Why it matters: If you’re stuck in a negative pattern, it’s because your mind sees it as “safe” or familiar. Hypnotherapy helps create new, empowering patterns that feel just as natural.

Prime Directive 20 – It Does Not Process Negatives

The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives the way our conscious mind does. It doesn’t understand the word “not.” So, if you constantly think, “I don’t want to be anxious,” the unconscious mind doesn’t register the “don’t” or the “not.” Instead, it focuses directly on the word “anxious.” In this way, you inadvertently end up reinforcing the very thing you’re trying to avoid. For example, if you're in a business meeting and think, “I don’t want to fail,” your unconscious mind locks onto “fail,” increasing your anxiety around the possibility of failure. This can lead to self-sabotage, as you unknowingly bring the thing you fear into your reality.

The key to working with your unconscious mind is to reframe your thoughts in a positive way. Instead of thinking “I don’t want to be anxious,” focus on what you want instead: “I want to feel calm and confident.” This shift helps your unconscious mind focus on creating the positive outcome you desire, rather than amplifying the negative emotion you're trying to avoid. The more you consciously choose positive, empowering thoughts, the more your unconscious mind will support those goals, helping you move toward success and peace.

• Why it matters: Reframe your thoughts into positive outcomes. Instead of “I don’t want to fail,” say “I am successful and capable.”

Final Thoughts

Your unconscious mind is always listening, always working, and always shaping your reality. By understanding these 20 directives, you can begin to communicate with it effectively, release what’s been holding you back, and create the life you truly desire.

With tools like hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and breakthrough breathwork, you can unlock the power of your unconscious mind to heal, grow, and thrive.

Remember: The change you seek is already within you—your mind just needs the right guidance.

Placing Your Entire Sense of Safety and Self-Worth in Someone Else Is Never Sustainable

Have you ever found yourself looking to someone else to make you feel secure, loved, or complete? It’s a pattern many of us fall into without even realising it.

But the hard truth is this: Placing your entire sense of safety and self-worth in another person is never sustainable.

Here’s why:

1. The Weight of Being Someone’s “Everything”

When you expect someone else to be your everything, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. One person carries the emotional burden of being your anchor, your cheerleader, and your source of validation—all at once. No matter how much they care, it’s a weight too heavy for anyone to bear.

Relationships built on this kind of dependency often struggle.

They become suffocating, draining, and full of resentment. Why? Because no one person can meet all your needs.

2. The Danger of Codependency

Codependency is a loop where one person’s self-worth hinges on the other’s approval, attention, or presence.

It feels like love, but it’s often rooted in fear—fear of being alone, fear of rejection, or fear of not being “enough.”

When you give someone else the power to determine your happiness, you lose your own. And ironically, the very thing you’re afraid of—losing the relationship—becomes more likely, because codependency suffocates growth.

3. Avoiding Yourself vs. Reclaiming Yourself

Here’s the truth: placing your self-worth in someone else isn’t about them—it’s about you. Often, it’s a way of avoiding the relationship you have with yourself.

If you’re constantly looking outward for love, safety, or validation, it’s time to ask:

• Where am I abandoning myself?

• What parts of me am I avoiding or suppressing?

• Why do I believe someone else’s love will fix what I feel is missing?

Healing starts when you’re willing to face these questions head-on and begin reconnecting with yourself.

4. The Power of Choosing, Not Needing

The healthiest relationships aren’t about need; they’re about choice. They’re built on mutual respect, shared values, and a deep sense of individuality. When you no longer rely on someone else to complete you, you create space for a partnership that enhances your life rather than defining it.

You’ll find that relationships flourish when both people feel free to be themselves, rather than trapped in a cycle of dependency.

5. Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Power

If this resonates with you, know that change is possible. Start here:
💥 Prioritise yourself: Get to know your own needs and meet them first.
💥 Let go of control: Let others make their own choices, and trust that you’ll handle whatever comes next.
💥 Build self-worth: Validate yourself instead of seeking constant approval from others.

The Journey to Becoming Whole

Your sense of safety, self-worth, and happiness can only come from within. When you place these things in someone else’s hands, you lose the opportunity to truly know yourself.

But here’s the good news: you can take that power back.

Are you ready to stop looking outward and start reconnecting with yourself? My program, “Becoming the One,” is designed to help you rediscover your worth, heal old patterns, and create the kind of love you truly deserve—starting with YOU.

Let’s rewrite your story together. 💖

Why They Don’t Seem to Want You

In today’s fast-paced world, feelings of rejection in relationships can be particularly painful.

You may find yourself wondering, “Why don’t they seem to want me?” This question often leads to self-doubt and confusion, but it’s essential to understand the deeper dynamics at play.

1. Understanding Connection vs. Attraction

First, it’s crucial to differentiate between connection and attraction.

Just because someone may be attracted to you doesn’t mean they are ready for a deeper relationship. Various factors influence their willingness to engage, such as personal issues, past traumas, or fear of vulnerability. Are you actually being upfront and honest with what you WANT? This is especially relevant if you’ve experienced patterns of unrequited affection or found yourself drawn to partners who seem emotionally unavailable.

2. Self-Reflection: Are You Being Your Authentic Self?

Often, we attract relationships that mirror our internal state.

If you are struggling with self-worth, you may unconsciously draw partners who reflect those beliefs. Are you putting on a facade to gain approval? If you feel you must "perform" to be liked, it can hinder genuine connection. Self-reflection and inner work—like those found in breakthrough breathwork or hypnotherapy, can help you discover your authentic self and attract the right kind of love.

3. Recognising Patterns of Rejection

Understanding your emotional patterns can shed light on why you might feel unwanted.

Have you experienced abandonment or neglect in past relationships? These emotional wounds can create a cycle where you attract partners who reinforce those fears. Acknowledging these patterns is the first step toward breaking free and cultivating healthier connections.

4. Are Relationships Supposed to Be Hard?

It’s a common misconception that relationships should be hard work.

While every relationship requires effort and compromise, they shouldn’t feel like a constant struggle. If you find yourself consistently fighting for your partner's affection, it may be time to reassess the relationship’s dynamics.

5. Can Relationships Be Fixed?

The good news is that relationships can be fixed—provided both partners are willing to engage in open communication and mutual growth. Seeking guidance through coaching, therapy, “Concious connected couple’s Breathwork” or support groups can help both individuals navigate their feelings and improve the relationship’s health.

In summary, feelings of rejection can stem from various internal and external factors. By investing time in self-reflection and emotional healing, you’ll be better equipped to attract the right partners who appreciate you for who you truly are.

If you’re tired of feeling unwanted or caught in unhealthy relationship patterns, it’s time to take action. Join my “Become the One, Relationship Reset” program, where we’ll dive deep into understanding your beliefs and emotional patterns. Together, we’ll work on healing past wounds and reprogramming your mind to attract the love you truly deserve.

🔑 What You’ll Gain:

• Clarity on what you truly want in a relationship

• Techniques to break free from limiting beliefs and patterns

• Tools to cultivate self-love and confidence

• Ongoing support to help you stay aligned with your desires

Don’t wait any longer to step into the love you’ve always dreamed of! Click the link to learn more about the program and start your journey to becoming the one. 🌟💖

Why You Always Think the Worst Will Happen in Relationships

You’ve met someone amazing. They’re kind, thoughtful, and everything you’ve ever wanted... yet you’re already bracing yourself for the heartbreak. Sound familiar?

It’s as if no matter how good things seem, there’s that little voice in your head whispering, “This won’t last. Something is bound to go wrong.”

You’re not alone in feeling this way. So many people, especially those who have experienced difficult or toxic relationships, carry this anxiety into every new relationship.

But here’s the truth: this fear isn’t about your current partner or the relationship. It’s about the subconscious patterns you’ve learned over time.

In this blog, we’ll explore why you always expect the worst in relationships and how you can start breaking this exhausting cycle.

Understanding Why You Expect the Worst

It’s easy to blame external factors for our relationship fears, but the real reason often lies much deeper, within our subconscious mind.

If you’ve been through abandonment, betrayal, or trauma in past relationships (especially as a child - even if it was just perceived abandonment), your subconscious has learned to expect pain, even when things are going well. It’s like you’ve trained yourself to be on guard, anticipating the next emotional blow before it even happens.

This might have worked as a coping mechanism in the past to protect you, but it’s now creating anxiety and insecurity in your current relationships.

You might not even realise it, but your brain is stuck in a survival mode where safety feels temporary, and happiness is something you’re waiting to lose.

Here are a few common reasons you might always think the worst will happen:

1. Past trauma or emotional wounds: If you’ve been hurt before—especially in ways that felt like betrayal or abandonment—your brain tries to protect you by scanning for signs that it will happen again.

2. Fear of abandonment: Even when things seem perfect, you may subconsciously fear being left behind. You may believe that love always fades or that people eventually leave, even if they haven’t given you any reason to think so.

3. Low self-worth: If deep down, you don’t truly believe you’re worthy of love, you may find yourself questioning why someone would want to stay with you. This insecurity fuels your belief that something bad is bound to happen.

4. Unresolved attachment issues: If you’ve experienced inconsistency in love during childhood or in early relationships, you may expect instability. You might fear that even the most secure relationship will become unpredictable.

The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

When you always expect the worst, it’s easy to start unintentionally sabotaging the relationship. This is how the cycle often plays out:

• Overanalysing everything: When you’re constantly expecting something to go wrong, you might start overthinking your partner’s actions or words. A delayed text or change in tone could send you into a spiral of worry, making you question their commitment or interest.

• Seeking constant reassurance: To feel secure, you may find yourself needing constant validation from your partner. This can create pressure on the relationship, making your partner feel like they can never do enough to make you feel safe.

• Emotional distancing: To protect yourself from the pain you fear is coming, you may start pulling away emotionally before anything bad even happens. Ironically, this behaviour often leads to the very distance you were trying to avoid.

These patterns create a self-fulfilling prophecy where the fear of the relationship failing ends up damaging it.

Can Relationships Be Fixed?

Yes, relationships can be fixed. But the key is understanding that this work starts with you—not just with the relationship itself.

You need to heal the subconscious patterns that cause you to expect the worst. It’s not about simply “thinking positive” or ignoring the fear. That doesn’t address the root cause. Instead, it’s about reprogramming your subconscious mind so you can feel secure and trust that you’re worthy of love and stability, without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

How to Rewire Your Subconscious and Break the Cycle

Here are some powerful ways you can start shifting the way you feel in relationships and stop expecting the worst:

1. Heal Your Subconscious Beliefs

Your thoughts and emotions around relationships come from deep-seated beliefs about yourself, love, and safety. Hypnotherapy, breakthrough breathwork and mindset coaching are incredibly effective tools to help you access and shift these subconscious patterns. Instead of reliving your past trauma, hypnotherapy allows you to reprogram those outdated beliefs with new, empowering ones. Something I can help with.

You’ll move from expecting abandonment to feeling secure in the knowledge that you’re worthy of love and stability. You’ll stop believing that heartbreak is inevitable and start trusting in the possibility of long-lasting, healthy relationships.

2. Challenge Your Negative Thought Patterns

It’s important to become aware of the thoughts that fuel your fears. Next time you catch yourself thinking, “This won’t last” or “They’ll leave me eventually,” ask yourself: Is this based on fact or fear?

Often, these thoughts are projections of past experiences and have nothing to do with your current reality. Learning to recognise and challenge them is the first step to breaking the cycle.

3. Practice Self-Validation

When you always seek reassurance from your partner, it puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Instead, practice giving yourself the validation and love you crave. Remind yourself that you are enough and that you deserve a healthy, loving relationship.

When you start to believe that you’re worthy of love, you won’t need constant external validation to feel secure.

4. Stop Trying to Control the Outcome

The fear of the worst happening often comes from a desire to control the relationship’s outcome. But love isn’t about control—it’s about trust. Learning to release control and allow the relationship to evolve naturally is a key part of building a secure attachment.

Trusting yourself and your partner to handle whatever comes allows you to stay present in the relationship, without being consumed by the fear of what might go wrong.

It’s Time to Break the Cycle

If you’re tired of always expecting the worst and want to feel secure and confident in love, it’s time to do the inner work. Your past does not have to define your future. Relationships can be fixed, but first, you need to heal the relationship you have with yourself. ❤️

Let’s rewire your mind so you can finally feel safe, secure, and at peace in love. You deserve it.

Ready to Rewrite Your Relationship Story?

If you’re ready to stop waiting for things to go wrong and start trusting in love again, I can help. Through hypnotherapy, breakthrough breathwork and mindset coaching, I’ll guide you through reprogramming your subconscious so you can finally experience the security, trust, and peace you’ve been craving.

Visit my page below to learn how we can work together to create lasting, positive change in your relationships.

How to Attract a Healthy Relationship: 5 Key Steps to Finding Lasting Love

Many of us have spent years searching for the perfect partner, only to find ourselves stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns.

Whether it’s a history of toxic relationships or the struggle to find someone who truly complements us, the journey can often feel overwhelming.

But attracting a healthy relationship isn’t about luck or chance.

It’s about doing the inner work to ensure you're ready to welcome a partner who aligns with your values, respects your boundaries, and supports your personal growth.

In this blog, I’m going to guide you through the five key steps on how to attract a healthy relationship.

1. Prioritize Self-Love and Self-Respect

Before you can attract a healthy relationship, it’s essential to focus on the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself. When you truly love and respect yourself, you naturally set higher standards for how others treat you. You won’t tolerate disrespect, manipulation, or emotional unavailability, because you know your worth.

Cultivating self-love is the first step to attracting a partner who mirrors that love back to you. If you’re wondering how to attract a healthy relationship, the journey starts within.

Make self-care a priority, set firm boundaries, and celebrate your individuality.

2. Let Go of Past Relationship Baggage

Holding onto past hurts, unresolved anger, or resentment from previous relationships can block you from attracting a healthy partner.

If you find yourself constantly thinking about an ex or replaying old relationship wounds, it’s time to let go.

Releasing emotional baggage doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means you’ve processed the pain, learned the lesson, and are now ready to move forward. When you clear out emotional clutter, you create space for a healthy, fulfilling relationship to come into your life.

I often help my customers to let go of memories and patterns that have kept them stuck - sometimes for years!

How to attract a healthy relationship? Start by forgiving the past and allowing yourself to embrace the possibility of new love without the weight of old heartbreak.

3. Identify Your Non-Negotiables in a Partner

One crucial step to attracting a healthy relationship is getting crystal clear on what you need in a partner. Healthy relationships thrive when both individuals share core values, have mutual respect, and are aligned in their vision for the future.

Take the time to define your non-negotiables.

What qualities are essential to you in a relationship? Do you value honesty, emotional availability, and clear communication? By identifying these key traits, you’ll be able to better recognise potential partners who are truly compatible with you.

This is something we get clear on in our work together!

When you know what you’re looking for, you can avoid settling for less than you deserve. How to attract a healthy relationship means seeking someone whose values align with yours and who respects your boundaries.

4. Heal Your Limiting Beliefs About Love

Sometimes, the biggest barrier to attracting a healthy relationship isn’t external - it’s internal.

Many of us carry limiting beliefs about love that stem from past experiences, childhood trauma, or societal expectations. Beliefs like "I’m not worthy of love" or "Love always leads to heartbreak" can subconsciously sabotage your ability to attract a healthy, loving relationship.

If you want to know how to attract a healthy relationship, start by healing these limiting beliefs.

Hypnotherapy, coaching, and self-reflection are powerful tools that can help you uncover the subconscious programming that’s holding you back. Once you shift your mindset, you’ll be able to welcome a partner who reflects the love and respect you now believe you deserve.

5. Be Open to Vulnerability and Authentic Connection

Healthy relationships require vulnerability and authenticity.

If you’re guarded, afraid of being hurt again, or hesitant to show your true self, it’s difficult to form a genuine connection with someone. To attract a healthy relationship, you need to be willing to let your guard down and allow someone to truly see you—flaws and all.

This doesn’t mean oversharing or rushing into deep emotional intimacy. It means being open, honest, and showing up as your authentic self.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you invite a partner to do the same. Healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, and a willingness to grow together.

How to attract a healthy relationship? Practice vulnerability and embrace the idea that healthy love requires openness, not perfection.

Ready to Attract the Healthy Relationship You Deserve?

Attracting a healthy relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but by following these steps, you’re laying a strong foundation for lasting love. When you prioritize self-love, release old baggage, and embrace vulnerability, you naturally attract someone who is aligned with your values and ready to meet you at the same level of emotional maturity.

If you’re ready to take the next step and learn how to attract a healthy relationship, I invite you to join my upcoming Healthy Love Blueprint Masterclass. In this free session, we’ll dive deeper into how to heal from past relationships and create the life and love you truly desire.

5 Signs You're Ready to Heal and Attract a Healthy Relationship

After a painful relationship or breakup, it's common to feel uncertain about when you're truly ready to move on and attract a healthy relationship. Healing from past relationship trauma is a personal journey, but there are key signs that indicate you’re not only ready to heal but also ready to attract a love that supports your growth.

If you've been asking yourself, "Am I really ready to start again?" or "How do I know if I'm ready for a healthy relationship?", this blog will highlight five clear signs that show you’re on the path to healing and personal transformation.

These signs are often recognised by those seeking a relationship coach for guidance on overcoming old patterns and preparing for a fulfilling future relationship.

1. You've Recognised Your Negative Relationship Patterns

One of the first steps to healing after a relationship is becoming aware of the patterns you tend to repeat. Whether it's attracting emotionally unavailable partners, accepting less than you deserve, or finding yourself in codependent dynamics, recognising these patterns is a sign of growth.

If you've started to reflect on past relationships and see these recurring themes, you're already breaking free from negative relationship patterns. This awareness is crucial because it shows you're ready to take responsibility for your part in past relationships and make conscious changes for the future.

2. You're Prioritising Self-Love and Personal Growth

A healthy relationship starts with self-love. If you’ve been actively working on rebuilding your confidence, practicing self-care, and investing in your personal development, it’s a strong indicator that you’re ready to heal. When you prioritise yourself, you set a new standard for how others should treat you.

Many women come to a relationship coach looking for help to "attract a healthy relationship." But what they discover is that the relationship they need to focus on first is the one with themselves. Once you're in a place where your happiness and worth come from within, you're better equipped to enter a relationship that enhances your life rather than defines it.

3. You're Letting Go of Resentment and Anger from the Past

Holding onto resentment or anger from past relationships can be one of the biggest blocks to healing. If you’ve been working through your emotions and have started to release the hurt caused by an ex-partner or a toxic relationship, it’s a sign you’re emotionally moving forward.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior; it means letting go of the emotional baggage that keeps you tied to the past. By forgiving and releasing this emotional weight, you're making space for healthier, more loving experiences to come into your life.

4. You Feel Comfortable Being Alone

Another major sign you’re ready for a healthy relationship is feeling comfortable and happy on your own. You’re no longer rushing into relationships to avoid loneliness or to seek validation. Instead, you enjoy your own company, and you’ve found peace in your independence.

Being comfortable with solitude shows that you're not entering a relationship out of need or fear. Instead, you're ready to be with someone who complements your life rather than fills a void. This shift in mindset is critical for attracting a partner who respects and values you as much as you do yourself.

5. You’re Open to Vulnerability and Authentic Connection

Being open to vulnerability is essential for building a healthy relationship. If you’ve done the healing work and now feel ready to share your true self without fear of rejection or judgment, this is a powerful sign you’re ready to attract a relationship rooted in authenticity and mutual respect.

Healthy relationships require openness, honesty, and the ability to communicate your needs. If you're no longer afraid to be vulnerable and express your emotions, you’re prepared for a connection that’s built on trust and emotional intimacy—qualities that every relationship coach emphasizes when guiding women toward healthier love.

Ready to Heal and Attract the Love You Deserve?

Healing after a relationship isn’t easy, but it’s an empowering journey that brings you closer to the love and life you truly deserve.

If you’ve recognised these signs in yourself, you’re likely ready to heal and move forward into a relationship that supports your growth and happiness.

If you’re looking for guidance, I can help you navigate this journey with clarity and purpose. As a coach, I’ve helped hundreds of women break free from toxic relationship patterns, rebuild their confidence, and attract healthy, loving partnerships.

You can do the same.

Are you ready to take the next step? Join my free Healthy Love Blueprint Masterclass, starting on October 1st, where we’ll dive deeper into healing and attracting the love you deserve.

Before you date anyone new, you need to read this 👇

I’ve said it before – our brain is like an evidence-producing machine! We don’t experience life as it is; we experience life based on what we focus on most and on our beliefs and assumptions about it! And so many people are just f*cking focused on the wrong stuff! (Sorry, no point in me holding back here!) 😬

Imagine this: you're searching “How to find true love again” a few times on YouTube. The algorithm kicks in and starts showing you more and more of those types of videos. Life works the same way. So while you’re sat around talking trash about men but expecting to find a good one, it’s like baking a cake with salt but expecting it to taste sweet!

The Subconscious Saboteur

Let’s get real. I get it – your experiences and past hurts are why you’re here. But while you continue to focus on the negative, you’ll keep finding evidence of it. You won’t find the “good ones,” and if you do, you’ll find a way to see something different or sabotage it anyway. 🤷‍♀️👀

And it’s not really your fault. It’s unconscious. You probably don’t even know you’re doing it. It’s likely from past hurts and unresolved wounds. That’s why I love working with people with relationship trauma. They don’t even realise they’re going around in the same cycles again and again….but there’s huge relief when we work through it!

Recognising the Pattern

Let me ask you this – have you ever dated different people, only to find yourself in the same toxic dynamic? If you’re nodding your head, you’re not alone.

Recognising the pattern is the first step. Your subconscious mind holds onto these beliefs, making you attract the same kind of partners and situations.

Imagine you’re wearing glasses that tint everything with your past experiences.

Everything you see, feel, and experience is coloured by your previous relationships. It’s like trying to enjoy a sunset with smudged sunglasses. Not quite the same, right?

The Recipe for Change

So how do we change the recipe and bake a sweet life? First, we need to clean those glasses. Here’s how:

1. Acknowledge Your Patterns 🧠 Take a step back and look at your relationship history. What similarities do you see? What beliefs about love and relationships are you holding onto? Write them down.

2. Shift Your Focus 🌟 Instead of focusing on what went wrong, start focusing on what you want. Visualise and feel into the the kind of relationship you desire. Believe it’s possible and that you deserve it.

3. Heal Your Past ❤️ This is where the magic happens. Through hypnotherapy and mindset coaching, we can address those unresolved wounds and reprogram your subconscious mind. It’s like a deep clean for your soul.

More Than Just Relationships

And it’s not just in relationships. Many of us leave money on the table because we’re so focused on the lack that we miss opportunities. We’re unhappy because we see life through the lens of “life is so hard.” And then it’s the same the next day, the day after, and the day after that. You get the picture. Until you’re ready to change.

When you’re ready, I know someone who’s just what you need. (Spoiler alert: It’s me! 🤪)

Embrace the New

Imagine waking up one day, feeling genuinely happy and optimistic about your future. Imagine attracting partners who respect and cherish you. Imagine spotting opportunities for abundance and seizing them with confidence. This isn’t a fantasy – it’s entirely possible when you change your focus and heal from within.

Take the Leap

Breaking relationship cycles isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. You deserve to experience love, joy, and abundance. You deserve to break free from the past and step into a future that excites you. If you’re ready to take that leap, I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

So, are you ready to stop baking cakes with salt? Let’s switch up the recipe and create a life that tastes as sweet as you deserve. Because life is too short to settle for anything less than bliss.

With love and a sprinkle of humor, Caroline 💖

Manifesting Love for a Specific Person: Is it Possible?

When it comes to manifesting love, the most frequent question I get asked is about attracting a specific person. It's fascinating how many people are drawn to the idea of manifesting a particular individual into their lives.

In fact, I believe that many discover the power of manifesting and the Law of Assumption and states of consciousness through this very topic!

The concept may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but once you grasp the basics, it starts to make perfect sense.

Think of different realities as various TV programs running simultaneously. You get to choose which program to watch, and similarly, you can decide which reality to experience. Whatever channel you are playing all of the other programs are still running until you choose to tune into them.

We are all connected at the source through states of consciousness, allowing us to manifest anything we desire.

Remember, you are the creator of your reality. Your identity is “I AM,” not “I CAN’T.”

And let’s talk about “Free Will” people only bring this up around this subject lets look at it this way…what happens when they are having constant arguments in their head with people or talking negatively about people and wondering why they keep behaving exactly how they “EXPECT” because those people have no choice to keep playing the role you give them. GOOD or BAD!

Think about it like this we communicate unconsciously or telepathically without realising it…so our thoughts are in fact never private therefore people have to behave how we expect them to.

And being honest most of the time the reason we get an unwanted version of others is because they are reflecting what we believe about ourself…eg not good enough etc. So changing this alone is often enough to get a different response from your specific person.

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”
― Neville Goddard

Neville Goddard, taught that everyone in your reality reflects your beliefs and assumptions. Simply put, people show up in your life exactly how you believe they will. If you think all guys are cheaters, you'll experience relationships with cheating. If you believe women can't be trusted, that's what you'll encounter. But if you believe people treat you with love and respect, that's how they'll treat you.

It’s why people go from one toxic relationship to another they think by changing the person they’ll change the outcome not realising if they’ve done nothing to change their awareness the next person will also be reflecting the same beliefs.

This highlights the importance of focusing on your beliefs about yourself. According to Neville, everything already exists in the present moment. Imagine each day is like you have a clean state and if you are struggling to let go of things from the past this is where I can help with very particular revision techniques.

The subconscious is not selective; it is impersonal and no respecter of persons. The subconscious is not concerned with the truth or falsity of your feeling. It always accepts as true that which you feel to be true. Feeling is the assent of the subconscious to the truth of that which is declared to be true. Because of this quality of the subconscious there is nothing impossible to man. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and feel as true, the subconscious can and must objectify. Your feelings create the pattern from which your world is fashioned, and a change of feeling is a change of pattern.

The subconscious never fails to express that which has been impressed upon it. Neville Goddard 

There are infinite realities with every possible version of the past, present, and future. In one reality, you might be married to your person; in another, you're single. The reality your awareness goes to most is the one you manifest.

So ask yourself right now…where is my awareness going most of the time….and we don’t even need to focus on “THE Specific Person” Just our awareness of ourselves are we focusing on the deliciousness of feeling loved, adored, safe? Or the awareness of being unwanted, single, unhappy?

It’s why you could be in a beautiful relationship but keep focusing on the fact it might go wrong, you might be left single, hurt etc this is likely to manifest.

The Power of Letting Go or Detachment.

Interestingly, many people manifest a specific person back into their lives when they "give up."

This happens because they drop the sense of lack. Every possible outcome and scenario already exists in one of the infinite realities. This includes every possible version of every person you could meet.

Out of all these infinite possibilities, you experience the reality you imagine or focus most of your attention on. You are constantly selecting and shifting between realities based on your beliefs and assumptions. These determine the reality you move into and experience, or the “state” you dwell in. So you don’t have to forget about your person or let go of the desire as such…but to manifest your specific person effectively you do have to let go of the lack and detach from what is currently going on in your external circumstances and instead dwell in the state of already having what you desire.

For example if you were in a beautiful relationship and feeling safe, secure, loved etc you wouldn’t be constantly thinking “Why haven’t they text me?” or “Who are they with?” etc.

Manifesting a specific person doesn’t work by brainwashing, manipulating, or infringing upon anyone’s free will. People aren’t puppets to be controlled or forced to do what you say. Manifesting doesn’t work like that. It is however a reflection of your state of being….

Practical Steps to Manifest Love for a Specific Person

1. Shift Your Focus: Start by shifting your focus from the lack of your specific person to the presence of love in your life. Imagine and feel as if your desire has already manifested. (EMBODY THE STATE OF THE WISH FULFILLED)

2. Reprogram Your Beliefs: Identify any limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. Replace them with empowering beliefs that align with the reality you want to experience. This is something I can support you with.

3. Use Affirmations/Techniques: Affirmations and other techniques can help reprogram your subconscious mind and step into the “It’s already done” state. Use affirmations like "I am so loved, wanted and adored," "I am in a loving relationship with [specific person]," and "I am attracting love effortlessly." Just a reminder techniques are not to “Make” anything happen but to help move you into a state where you already have your desire!

4. Visualise: Spend time each day visualising yourself with your specific person. Feel the emotions of being in that loving relationship as if it is happening right now. You can use inner conversations but most of all do this because it feels good…not to “Make” something happen. The external reality is a reflection of our internal reality which is why this is our focus.

5. Let Go: Detach from the outcome. Embody and enjoy the feelings of already having your desire…this may be feelings of joy, bliss contentment or it may just be dropping the lack KNOWING it is already done and living your life.

   Trust that its done. When you detach from external circumstances, you release resistance and allow your desired reality to manifest.

6. Stay in a state of LOVE: Practice gratitude for the love you already have in your life. Gratitude aligns you with the frequency of love.

YOU GET WHAT YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU WANT…so if you are in a state of frustration, sadness, hater etc this is what you’ll see reflected back.

Conclusion

Manifesting love for a specific person is entirely possible. By understanding and applying the principles of manifestation, you can attract the love you desire into your life. Remember, you are the creator of your reality. Every possible version of every person exists right now, and it’s your beliefs and assumptions that determine the reality you experience. Embrace your power, focus on what you desire, and watch as your reality transforms in beautiful ways.

Living in the Wish Fulfilled: How to Embrace the Power of Now

Have you ever noticed how effortlessly you achieve something when you no longer dwell on its arrival? Think back to any past moment where you desired something and eventually attained it. At that time, were you anxiously waiting for it to manifest, or did you simply know, deep within, that it was already yours? That's the essence of living in the wish fulfilled.

"All you can possibly need or desire is already yours. You need no helper to give it to you; it is yours now. Call your desires into being by imagining and feeling your wish fulfilled. As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end." - Neville Goddard

In the teachings of Neville Goddard, living in the wish fulfilled means embodying the state of already having your desire. It's about moving away from the mindset of waiting for something to happen in the future and instead embracing the belief that it has already come to fruition.

Here’s a practical approach to incorporate this mindset into your life:

1. Shift Your Perspective: During your visualisation or affirmation practice, periodically check in with yourself. Are you anticipating the fulfilment of your desire in the days to come? Be honest in your assessment. If you find yourself eagerly waiting, remind yourself that this mindset contradicts living in the wish fulfilled.

2. Embrace the Present Tense: Imagine your desire not as something you are waiting for, but as something that has already happened. Visualise it as a past achievement. Ask yourself, "Am I still waiting for this?" Challenge yourself to feel the reality of your desire being a fulfilled fact in your life.

3. Cultivate Certainty: Questioning implies it is not done. Each time you think of your desire tell yourself It is done until you confidently know it's already done. Feel the joy and satisfaction of its fulfilment in the present moment.

"Neville’s law is simply this: If you are imagining an objective beyond your present capacity to realise, you have to keep that image alive in your mind and feed it with the feeling of reality." - Neville Goddard

Living in the wish fulfilled requires a shift from longing to knowing, from anticipation to certainty. It’s about aligning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs with the reality of your desire already being realized. As Neville Goddard emphasized, this shift in consciousness is not about wishful thinking or repetitive affirmations, but a deep, unwavering conviction in the present reality of your desires.

So, take a moment today to embody the feeling of your wish fulfilled. Let go of the need for it to come in the future and embrace its presence in your life right now. By doing so, you unleash the power of manifestation and create a life filled with inner peace, abundance, and joy.

Remember, the key to living in the wish fulfilled lies in your ability to believe and feel that what you desire is already here. Embrace this mindset, and watch how your reality transforms accordingly.

If you are ready to really Live in the Wish fulfilled…Join me for my online retreat 15th - 19th July

Living in the state of the wish fulfilled

Living in the End: The Key to Manifesting Your Desires

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly attract their desires while others struggle?

What Does "Living in the End" Mean?

Neville Goddard's teachings revolve around the idea that to manifest your desires, you must assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled. We manifest what we are…not what we want!

This means stepping into the state of consciousness where you already possess what you desire, whether it's money, love, peace, success, or confidence. It's about living as if your dreams have already come true.

Why Is Living in the End So Important?

1. Aligning with Your Desires: When you live in the end, you align your thoughts, emotions, and actions with the reality you want to create. This alignment sends a powerful message to your consciousness and impresses your subconscious mind that you are ready to receive what you desire.

2. Reprogramming the Subconscious Mind: Your subconscious mind controls 90% of your daily actions and reactions. By consistently living in the end, you reprogram your subconscious to accept your desires as reality. This creates new neural pathways and habits that support your manifesting goals.

3. Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: One of the biggest barriers to manifestation is limiting beliefs. When you live in the end, you can bypass these mental blocks.

   Instead of focusing on why something isn't possible, you focus on the feeling of already having it, which dissolves resistance and opens up new possibilities. Or you can get my support using Time Line Therapy™ to remove unwanted emotions and limiting beliefs.

4. Enhancing Visualization and Imagination: Living in the end strengthens your ability to visualize and imagine your desires in vivid detail. This mental practice enhances your creative power and makes your desired reality feel tangible and attainable.

How to Live in the End

1. Cultivate the Feeling: Start by identifying the core feelings associated with having your desire. Is it joy, peace, security, or excitement? Cultivate these emotions daily, allowing them to infuse your thoughts and actions.

2. Create Mental Scenes: Use your imagination to create detailed mental scenes of your desired outcome. See yourself living your dream life, engaging in activities, and interacting with others as if your wish is already fulfilled.

3. Affirmations and Self-Talk: Reinforce your new state of consciousness with positive affirmations and self-talk. Speak to yourself as if you already have what you desire. For example, "I am abundant," "I am loved," or "I am successful."

4. Act As If: Begin to act as if your desires have already manifested. Make decisions and take actions from the perspective of someone who already has what they want. This could mean dressing the part, changing your environment, or adopting new habits.

5. Morning and Evening Rituals: Incorporate living in the end into your daily routines. Start your day with visualization and affirmations, and end it by revisiting your mental scenes before sleep. These rituals reinforce your new state of consciousness.

The Law of Consciousness

Neville Goddard explains that "Consciousness is the one and only reality, not figuratively but actually. This reality may for the sake of clarity be likened unto a stream which is divided into two parts, the conscious and the subconscious." To intelligently operate the law of consciousness, it's essential to understand the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious.

The conscious mind is personal and selective, generating ideas and impressing them upon the subconscious. The subconscious mind, impersonal and non-selective, receives these ideas and gives form and expression to them. By this law—first conceiving an idea and then impressing it upon the subconscious—all things evolve out of consciousness.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial because the conscious mind (the male aspect) initiates and impresses, while the subconscious mind (the female aspect) receives and manifests. This interplay between conscious and subconscious ensures that your desires evolve into reality.

Embrace Your Desired State Today

Living in the end is more than just a manifesting technique; it's a way of life. By embodying the state of already having your desires, you transform your inner world and, consequently, your outer reality. Remember, your consciousness is the creative force that shapes your existence. Use it wisely and boldly to create the life you truly desire.

As Neville Goddard famously said,

"Assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled and observe the route that your imagination will take you to realise it."

Step into your desired state of consciousness today and watch as your reality transforms to match your innermost dreams.

And I can help you on your journey really helping you to step into the version of yourself that has their desire!

From "I'm Getting a Divorce" to "I'm the Happiest I've Been in My Marriage in a Long Time" 😳

How did this happen, in just 6 weeks as well you might be wondering?

👉 She was still with the same person—she hadn't found a new relationship!

👉 We didn't do anything to change her partner—just focused on her!

Here's the thing (as you've heard me say many times before): our relationships are a reflection of ourselves. This might sound a bit complicated, and that's because it is! (That's why people choose to work with me)

There are so many aspects of ourselves and soooo many beliefs that can affect this.

This amazing client was on the brink of ending her marriage. She felt hopeless, disconnected, and ready to walk away. But instead of focusing on what was wrong with her partner or their relationship, we turned the spotlight on her. We delved deep into her unconscious, unearthing old beliefs and patterns that were sabotaging her happiness.

We weren't even trying to change the relationship at all—just focusing on her!

The Power of Self-Reflection

When my client first approached me, she was convinced that her marriage was beyond repair. She felt unheard, unloved, and stuck in a cycle of negativity. She had tried everything she could think of to fix her relationship—couples therapy, self-help books, talking it out with friends—but nothing seemed to work. In her mind, the only solution left was divorce.

But as we began our work together, I helped her see that the real issue wasn't her partner or even their relationship—it was the beliefs and patterns within herself. This is a fundamental principle of the work I do: our external relationships are a mirror of our internal world. If we want to change our relationships, we must first change ourselves.

Unearthing Old Beliefs

The first step in this transformation was to uncover the old beliefs and patterns that were holding her back. Using Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy™, and NLP Coaching, we began to explore her unconscious mind. What we found were deep-seated beliefs about her worth, her expectations in a relationship, and her ability to be loved.

These beliefs were not just thoughts that crossed her mind occasionally; they were ingrained patterns that influenced her behaviour and her emotions on a daily basis. For example, she had a belief that she was not worthy of love unless she was perfect. This belief led her to constantly criticise herself and feel inadequate, which in turn made her feel disconnected from her husband.

Reprogramming the Mind

Once we had identified these limiting beliefs, the next step was to reprogram them. This is where Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy™, and NLP Coaching come in. These techniques are incredibly powerful tools for changing the unconscious mind. They allow us to bypass the critical, conscious mind and communicate directly with the subconscious, where these beliefs are stored.

Using the tools we had, we were able to plant new, empowering beliefs in her subconscious mind. She began to see herself as worthy of love just as she was, without needing to be perfect. Time Line Therapy™ helped her to release old emotional baggage and negative experiences from her past that were influencing her present. And NLP Coaching gave her practical tools and strategies to reinforce these new beliefs in her daily life.

The Transformation Begins

As she began to internalise these new beliefs, she noticed changes in herself almost immediately. She felt more confident, more loving, and more at peace. She began to take better care of herself, both physically and emotionally. She set boundaries and started to say no to things that drained her energy. She pursued hobbies and interests that made her happy.

And as she changed, so did her relationship. Her husband noticed the difference in her and responded in kind. The dynamic between them shifted. Where there had been tension and resentment, there was now understanding and connection. Where there had been distance, there was now closeness. The love that she thought was lost began to flow naturally again.

The Ripple Effect

This transformation didn't just affect her marriage; it had a ripple effect on all her relationships. She found that she was more patient and understanding with her children. She felt closer to her friends and family. Even her work relationships improved as she brought this new, empowered version of herself into every interaction.

This is the beauty of this work: when we heal ourselves, it affects every area of our lives. Our relationships, our work, our health—all of it improves when we align with our true selves and release the beliefs that are holding us back.

The Journey Continues

Of course, this journey is not a one-time event. It's an ongoing process of growth and self-discovery. There are always new layers to uncover, new beliefs to transform, and new ways to grow. But with the tools and techniques she learned, she now has the ability to navigate this journey with confidence and grace.

And this is what I want for you, too. If you are struggling in your relationship, remember that the journey to a better relationship starts within you. When you heal and grow, your relationships will reflect that transformation.

Embracing Your Power

Imagine waking up each day feeling loved, confident, and at peace. Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing someone who is worthy of all the good things life has to offer. Imagine being in a relationship that is full of love, connection, and joy. This is possible for you, just as it was for my client.

It's not about finding the perfect partner or fixing your current relationship; it's about finding and fixing yourself. When you align with your true self and release the beliefs that are holding you back, everything else falls into place.

So, if you’re struggling in your relationship, take a step back and look within. Ask yourself what beliefs and patterns are influencing your behavior. Consider working with someone who can guide you on this journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Ready to Transform?

Are you ready to reclaim your power and create the love life you deserve? Reach out to me and let's make it happen together. Whether you decide to stay in your relationship or move on, you will be a happier, more empowered version of yourself.

Manifesting Love: Becoming the One You Seek

In the quest for love, we often look outward, seeking the perfect partner who will complete us and bring joy to our lives. We dream of that magical relationship where everything falls into place, and all our romantic desires are fulfilled.

However, the true journey to manifesting the relationship of your dreams starts within. Your relationships are a mirror of your inner world, reflecting your beliefs, emotions, and self-perception. To attract the love you desire, you must first nurture the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself.

Becoming the One

Imagine becoming the person who naturally attracts the love you desire—because you are the embodiment of that love. This transformative process is what we call BECOMING THE ONE. It's about aligning your inner world with the relationship you want to experience in your outer world. When you embody love, confidence, and self-worth, you create a magnetic energy that draws the right partner to you.

““Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live.” ”

— Neville Goddard

This means that by transforming your inner self, you change the external circumstances of your life, including your relationships.

Cultivating Self-Love

The first step in becoming the one is cultivating self-love.

Self-love is not just about pampering yourself or engaging in self-care rituals, although these can be part of it. It's about recognising your inherent worth and treating yourself with the kindness, respect, and compassion you deserve.

It involves healing old wounds, letting go of limiting beliefs, and embracing your authentic self. (Although this doesn’t have to take years or be as hard as it might sound)

Neville Goddard also said, "Assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled." This quote emphasises the importance of feeling as though you already are the person you want to be. When you feel whole, worthy, and loved, you send out a powerful vibration that attracts similar energies into your life.

Shifting Your Inner Dialogue

Your inner dialogue plays a crucial role in shaping your reality. Pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself and your relationships. Are they empowering or limiting? Do they reflect love and abundance, or fear and lack? Shifting your inner dialogue to align with the love you wish to attract is a key part of the process.

Instead of focusing on what you lack or what's not working in your love life, begin to affirm positive beliefs. Tell yourself, "I am worthy of love," "I attract healthy, fulfilling relationships," and "I am loved and cherished." By consistently affirming these beliefs, you reprogram your subconscious mind, aligning it with your desired reality.

Embodying the State of the Wish Fulfilled

Embodying the state of the wish fulfilled means living as if your desired relationship is already a reality. This practice goes beyond mere visualisation. It requires you to immerse yourself in the feelings, thoughts, and actions of someone who is already in a loving, fulfilling relationship.

Feel the emotions of love, happiness, and fulfilment as vividly as you can, and let these emotions guide your daily actions and interactions.

Neville Goddard's teachings highlight the significance of this approach: "Imagination is the very gateway of reality."

By embodying the state of the wish fulfilled, you align your energy with your desired relationship, making it a natural extension of your inner world.

In the journey to manifesting the love you desire, remember that it all starts with you.

By becoming the embodiment of the love you seek, you naturally attract the relationship of your dreams. As Neville Goddard wisely put it, "You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it."

Embrace this truth, nurture your inner world, and watch as your outer world transforms to reflect the love and joy you truly deserve.

If you are ready to “BECOME THE ONE” join my new 1-1 program

Are you hoping a relationship will fix your life?

I need another boyfriend FAST!! 🫣

Ok it was never really like that as such. 

It wasn't necessarily something I was consciously thinking, but it was there in the background.

And I'm not entirely sure what I was looking for. 

😳Was it someone to save me? 

😳Was it someone to complete me?

😳Was it someone I could rely on for happiness? 

😳Was it someone to stop me feeling lonely?

All I do know is it never ended up being any of those things! 🙄

You might wonder who I am to show up here talking about relationships and even using the hashtag #relationshipcoach when in fact the truth is I'm not currently in a relationship. 

However the REAL TRUTH is that I'm more content with myself than ever. The real truth is that I've realised just how all of those things I mentioned I no longer NEED from anyone else because I have them within. ❤

It's been a JOURNEY...but one that I have learned so much from. 

One that I now use to help other people. 

I spotted my patterns. 

I took a deep look inwards rather than trying to put another quick fix relationship over it. 

So I'm at a place where I'm open to a HEALTHY relationship not an attachment that I'm hoping will solve my problems. 

A relationship that I believe adds to my happiness not one that IS my happiness! 

And I wouldn't change a thing even the relationships I've had over that time regardless of if they were good, bad or lots of pain have given me huge insights. 

Not into insights into men, not insights into relationships but into myself and what I NEEDED FROM ME! 

And if you are ready to start with the most important relationship ever THE ONE WITH YOURSELF! 

Book in a FREE 30 min call with me!

9 Ways to Shift Your Mindset from Fear to Love and Manifest Your Desires

Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear.

All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.

Some people come to me desperately wanting to Manifest something, but they are in a state of fear...This is not the best mindset to manifest from at all....this is why I help many of my customers to become stable in their Mindset before even attempting to manifest specific outcomes or circumstances. This is why we often start with Hypnotherapy before moving on to Mindset Coaching & Hypnotherapy.

Fear can’t hold you back forever, if you don’t let it, you need to be patient and loving with yourself though.

There are several ways to overcome fear, here are some tips/tools for you to use and get yourself into the right mindset!

1. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings.

2. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it.

3. KNOW WHERE FEAR LIVES IN YOUR BODY
A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.

4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Everyday, list out 1-3 things you are thankful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which overtime, overcomes fear.

5. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE
Monitor your inner conversations. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths.

6. CREATE A NEW ASSOCIATION
Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between.

7. LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Overtime, this will become a habit.

8. PRACTICE BREATHING EXERCISES
Breathing helps centre your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and centre yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long.

9. CREATE A SAFE SPACE
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.

Book in a 1-1 Call so we can discuss how Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching can help to help you from Breakdown to Breakthrough.

Affirmations - and how to use them

So today we're gonna be talking about affirmations (Something I talk to lots of my Hypnotherapy & Mindset Customers about) and I'm going to start with the fact that I don't believe that affirmations are a technique as such.  Here’s a chat I had with a friend I’ve been helping using law of assumption.

Personally, the way that I see affirmations is that they are Thoughts that you choose. They can really help you to shift your Mindset from a place of lack to one of having what you want.

So we have they think about 70,000 thoughts a day and about 60,000 of those thoughts are the same thoughts we had yesterday So our brains really boring but we can use affirmations to like start to change what those dominant beliefs are.

CAROLINE:

What what what's your take on affirmations? Like how have you been using them?

SARAH :

I've been using them just to change like my whole mindset really and how I see things and how I see myself as well. So I started out with just the really simple ones, like Neville Goddard’s “Isn't it wonderful” Affirmation and “something wonderful is happening to me right now”

But also using them to change how I feel about myself using I AM Affirmations for example

“I am amazing”

“I am incredible”

It can change your your whole mindset in the space of like minutes, you can be feeling really rubbish and you can be thinking really negative things about yourself or about your situation. But then if you start doing these affirmations, something clicks inside of you and you're just like hang on a minute, no, I'm amazing.

Something wonderful is happening to me right now and then you just completely changed and you feel not happy again.

I think it does change other people’s perception of you as well because if you're feeling good all of the time people just feel it, they see it.

There’s a quote that sums up our experience in life that you told me once…. “A mirror cannot smile unless you smile.”

And that really, really resonated with me because I was thinking, yeah, if I'm miserable, the people around me are going to be miserable because I don't really want to talk about vibrations because I'm not really into that kind of stuff. But it does, they kind of reflect your vibration.

CAROLINE:

Is that the whole thing that Everyone is yourself pushed out. Everybody is your mirror. And the thing is the only thing that's creating our reality is our consciousness and there is only one consciousness So even they were in separate bodies, we are still one consciousness. So we're all connected.

Which is why when you start to change your beliefs and your assumptions about yourself exactly what you say, It's not just you that is changing, it's not just your mindset that's changing is the way that people start to show up in your life, the way that people treat you because they have to mirror back to you what those beliefs are about yourself.

SARAH:

Exactly. I think the Easiest one for me was just the way I was around the Children. you know if I'm in a bad mood and I'm I'm eggy and walking around feeling moody. They literally feed on that and then it's like, oh my God they literally drove me insane. So if you can shift that, you know, they are like so much happier now that I'm in a better place.

CAROLINE:

My kids are my biggest mirrors I know instantly what mood I'm in depending on how my kids are behaving. So yeah, definitely. Yeah. And plus you're around them like all of the time. So you know, you really do get to feel how you're feeling and what they are sort of projecting back to you about your mood and your state of mind.

And the thing is there's no denying that everyone is you pushed out And when I've been using certain affirmations consistently like again and again and again, it is absolutely crazy Like, people literally parroting my affirmations back to me word by word.

I expect I've told you about the time when I started affirming I am the woman that everyone wants to help and support and all of a sudden so I had lots of things that needed doing in my house at the time, I had doors that needed fixing, I had a room that was full of rubble that all needed taking out. And I suddenly had all of these offers from men like, can I come and help you do this? Like, let me come and put your door on for you, the electrician that was meant to be rewiring my house, came and turned up and took like four bags of rubble out for me, which was not in his job.

Nothing like that had ever happened to me before Yeah, and even like affirming the, like, “I'm a great Mum” I start affirming things like that and the kids reflect it, saying stuff like, you're the best Mum, Yeah, you are literally the best Mum.

It's so simple but so effective and and affirmations or some of the techniques that we'll talk about in different times. all of the techniques really are to get that internal shift.

You don't affirm to like suddenly see changes outside of you, of course that will eventually happen, but the first shift has to be within, because there's no one to change but self.

Affirmations are for me, the one technique that you can do whilst you're washing up, whilst you're driving, Yeah you can literally do them anywhere and everywhere, and you don't even have to be saying them out loud you can just do it silently in your head and nobody would even know that you're doing it, like you would with normal thoughts.

I remember when first realised that some of my affirmations were really like implemented I woke up in the middle of the night and said one of my affirmations to myself, I wasn't worried about a single thing.

I literally woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, “I am incredible”

So, even though I've been saying it for a really long time, and I think this is the other thing that a lot of people are like, well, what if I don't believe my affirmations?

SARAH:

Yeah, I think that I struggled in the beginning because I think I had quite a lot of self doubt, like, my relationship has just broken down when we really started speaking about this, I was in a job that I didn't necessarily want to be in, but I didn't really see a way out at the time.

It's completely changed the way I see everything and the way I feel about myself as well.

CAROLINE:

Yeah, and that's, it isn't like, there won't necessarily be the belief when you start affirming I am incredible.

You're affirming it, but you're not necessarily believing it, but when you repeat that again and again and again eventually, and I've said this to loads of my customers, like, the subconscious part of the brain doesn't have eyes.

So it literally only knows what we're telling it. So if you tell it enough times, “I am incredible.” Eventually, it's going to believe it.

I like to really embody my affirmations as well, like, you know, sometimes I will just repeat them if I'm doing stuff, but one of my favourite affirmations is I am the happiest woman in the world, but when I say it like I really conjure up those feelings being the happiest woman in the world, I've got like, a little visualisation I use along with it.

Another one of my favourite affirmations is “everything is always working in my favour.” so, you know that eventually, whatever it is, whatever situation you're in or whatever you know, self doubt that you're having, it's gonna flip and it's gonna all work itself out and work in your favour.

Our brain loves to seek evidence for whatever we're telling it, So again, that's you know how affirmations can start to shape our world is because if you're telling yourself like, I'm stupid, I'm ugly or you know, things are always going bad.

Your brain will literally be trying to prove you right!

It's the reticular activating system that's like, okay, this is this is what we do here and it starts to shift and change what you see in your reality as well as like manifesting.

SARAH:

Yeah, exactly. But I just think back to the beginning of the year for me so many things have happened to me since I've started doing all of these things with you, like all the techniques and learning all about this. So many things have happened that I just didn't even think we're going to be possible, I've literally had so many things happen… I was in Austria for a week, I'm going to Croatia on Wednesday.

Like these are all like really big holidays and traveling and things that I never ever thought I was going to be able to do. I was always really nervous about not having the Children with me and also that feeling guilty of doing something for myself.

It is really huge. I was always like the yes person, if anybody ever wanted me to do anything for them. I always just used to say yes straight away because I always wanted to be that person that was always there for people and you know was always like the friend that never let anybody down and things like that, but at the same time, even though I was that person for the, for for my friends and family it was massively affected me and my life.

CAROLINE:

And the thing is that people pleasing at your own detriment comes from a place of needing validation and needing people to like you, and the paradox is when you don't need that validation from anyone else.

You don't need other people to like make you feel good then people show up for you more!

The beginners guide to Neville Goddard's SATS technique to help you manifest your desires.

You know that feeling when you’re driving down the road and suddenly realise you don’t remember the last several miles? Or how about when you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and you’re stumbling around, not quite awake? These are times when your brain is operating in what are known as alpha and/or theta waves.

You can also reach alpha and theta waves through prayer, meditation, or even when doing tasks that are so familiar that they become automatic (like brushing your hair, shaving, showering, or even going for a run.) 

Neville Goddard, philosopher, metaphysics teacher, and father of the manifestation movement called this hyper-relaxed state “SATS” (or “State Akin To Sleep.”) He realised that when you are in alpha or theta brainwaves, you can more easily access your subconscious mind and plant the seeds of belief.

This state of mind makes it much easier to manifest what you desire—you imagine yourself already having it while you are relaxed and your brain is almost on “autopilot.” Your brain is then set up to think that way when you are more fully awake and alert. 

We enter the State Akin To Sleep naturally, twice a day: once when we’re first waking up in the morning and once when we’re fading off to sleep at night. During this time, the subconscious is ready to receive new information or beliefs that the conscious mind might otherwise shut down during your more awake hours. As mentioned before, however, this relaxed state of mind can also be accessed intentionally through prayer, mediation, or repetitive tasks.  Scripting (Writing out your desires as though you already have them) is also really powerful just before sleep.

If you choose to work with me, I can also help you to get into this state during hypnosis, helping you to get clear and focused on your desires and how you would feel if you had these desires.

When you change your assumptions about the future, you change the future. The key here is to have faith in what you are assuming, and the best way to do that is to 

1. Clearly define what you are believing for. The trick is to have planned in advance what exactly you’re going to visualise. Write it down, and be specific. Create a particular situation in which your desires have come to pass, and imagine that situation

2. Believe and act as though what you wrote down is your current reality. The key to manifesting what you desire is acting as though it has already happened. Don’t self-sabotage by imagining a future where your desire has not come to pass—any time that happens recenter yourself on your specific picture of what it will look like when it does come to pass!

As a person thinks, so they are. What you think and believe about yourself is who you will become! The more you practice utilising the State Akin To Sleep to plant the seeds of belief in your subconscious thoughts, the more you will begin to think those things in your daily life when your conscious mind is at the forefront. Work on training your brain with the SATS technique, and you will begin to manifest a life you love simply by changing the way you think! 

Contact me If you want to work with me 1-1 and start manifesting your dream life.

“Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being).”

– Neville Goddard,

Solutions Focused Hypnotherapy & Manifestation

Many of my customers recently seem to be showing more of an interest in law of attraction / manifestation (not a coincidence…? ) and it’s been extremely interesting for me as I personally am a huge believer myself. 

And the great news is that solutions focused hypnotherapy works even if you are a believer, or NOT...everything we do is backed up by science and or research so it suits both non spiritual, more logical thinkers and those who are big believers (Personally I’d say i’m a bit of both….I like my spiritual beliefs to be backed up with some kind of science/evidence!) 

So first of all what is law of attraction?

For those who believe in it the law of attraction is a universal law, similar to that of gravity that is working all of the time.  It is a belief that our thoughts or emotions are being brought into reality (Both good or bad). Often without us even realising it. 

You may have heard some quotes similar to these

“What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create.” – Buddha

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.” – Henry Ford

“You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions and your intentions create your reality.” – Wayne Dyer

“Where Attention goes Energy flows; Where Intention goes Energy flows!”

The belief is that everything consists of energy (vibrations, even the Beatles sang a song called ‘good vibrations)  and therefore our thoughts create our reality.  You may remember a time when you were thinking about someone and the same day they sent a message to you, or called? 

I have always been a very imaginative thinker and remember so many times when I have allowed myself to daydream and imagine things which later became reality...and this was before I even knew what it was...including homes and even finding cash on the floor randomly!   (We are great at imagining when we are children) 

Now I use the law of attraction intentionally and use methods and techniques to attract customers, circumstances, money etc into my life! 

And hypnosis is one of the most useful tools I use! 

So how does solutions focused hypnotherapy help with the law of attraction?

Well one of the most important parts when using the law of attraction is that your thoughts create your reality....during our sessions one of our aims is to get you focusing more on the ‘good things’ and create a more positive thinking program running in your brain, this = more positive situations/circumstances.

THOUGHTS… BECOME… THINGS!

To use the law of attraction to your advantage it’s important to set ‘intentions’ or ‘goals’ and during the ‘miracle question’ part of our session, not only do we set intentions or goals but we get really clear on the emotions of how we will feel once that has been  achieved which is super powerful in the law of attraction. 

And lastly the actual hypnosis or trance part of the session taps into our subconscious brain and helps to get rid of any limiting beliefs that might be holding us back and in fact helps to plant helpful and supportive beliefs….the trance also helps us to feel calmer and more in control (Us solutions focused lot refer to this as ‘emptying the stress bucket’ so we can enjoy life more).

Interested in knowing more or working with me?

Contact me to speak about working 1-1 or for to buy one of my personalised law of attraction recordings that you can use again and again!

What can I start doing NOW?

• Start visualising - using the power of your imagination to think about how you want things to be rather than how you do not want them to be.

• Be grateful - I write a daily gratitude list.  What we focus on we attract, therefore by thinking about what we are already grateful for we attract more of these things!

• Use hypnosis to tap into your subconscious mind and change limiting beliefs into more helpful ones

• Do things you love and have fun (for me this is loud music and dancing!) - you must have heard of people being ‘high vibe’ or ‘positive vibe’ doing things we love or having fun keeps us in this state! 

• Act as if….play make believe, talk, act and think as though the things you want have already materialised...this is fun anyway!

• Set intentions - you can not receive whatever it is you want if you do not know or have not been clear about what it is! Write that stuff down with a pen and paper.  ‘It is my intention to have 3 new ideal customers by the end of this week’

Get To Know Your Happy Brain Chemicals!

Our brain is made up of 100's of neurotransmitters, evolutionarily many of them were and still are essential for survival.  When we feel good it is because our brain chemicals are working well.  

There are four major chemicals in the brain that influence our happiness, it is really helpful for us to learn what they are, what they do and how we get them. 

1.  Dopamine

2.  Oxytocin

3.  Serotonin

4.  Endorphins

Dopamine:  

Dopamine is often referred to as our 'reward or pleasure' neurotransmitter.  It is actually a survival chemical...our motivator!  For example as cavemen/cavewomen it was released when we caught our food.  This encouraged us to do it again and again and again.  We still release dopamine when we eat and because our natural instinct is to do more and more of what makes us feel good this can sometimes mean we turn to snacking or overeating in a bid to feel better.  Unfortunately this can be counter productive and there are better ways to feel good.

We also produce dopamine when we have sex which encourages to reproduce. That is why sometimes when we meet someone new we get those butterfly or excited feelings! 

We can produce dopamine by completing something you enjoy for example an excersise class, gardening or even better by being kind and helping others.  Also to ensure that your brain increases dopamine naturally, you’ll want to make sure that you’re getting enough sleep.  Lack of sleep has been shown to reduce concentrations of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, and their receptors.  Some research shows that listening to music that we enjoy can release dopamine.

Stress can also have a negative effective on dopamine so trying to reduce stress can help, solutions focused hypnotherapy can be effective in reducing stress and some research shows that trance can even help us produce more dopamine! 

Unfortunately a lack of natural dopamine can often lead to addictions such as gambling, gaming, phone addiction etc. 

“We get one of these little pings on our smartphones, and we get a little hit of dopamine as well. We get excited. We feel anticipation. As we feel this, we want it more and more. So we spend more and more time looking at our phones.”

— Kim Stolz

Oxytocin

Oxytocin is often referred to as our 'bonding' or 'love' neurotransmitter.  It's the chemical we would have released when we were fed milk as a baby, the brains of new mothers are usually flooded with oxytocin to help the bonding process as well.

We still release oxytocin when we have cuddles, kiss or when we trust someone! We can even release it when we shake hands with someone.

Oxytocin is the neurotransmitter that gives us that warm fuzzy feeling...so go on have a cuddle, even cuddling a pet with produce oxytocin!! 

“It is important to understand that while oxytocin may be the hub of the evolution of the social brain in mammals, it is part of a very complex system. Part of what it does is act in opposition to stress hormones, and in that sense release of oxytocin feels good - as stress hormones and anxiety do not feel good.”

— Patricia Churchland

Serotonin

Serotonin is often known as our 'happy chemical' it is one of the most important neurotransmitters we have! Serotonin is believed to help regulate mood and social behavior, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory, and sexual desire and function.

 

A lack of serotonin is also thought to have a negative effect on confidence and self esteem.

To produce serotonin we need the three P's Positive Interaction,  Positive Action and Positive thoughts!  

“Brain wave tests prove that when we use positive words, our “feel good” hormones flow. Positive self-talk releases endorphins and serotonin in our brain, which then flow throughout our body, making us feel good. These neurotransmitters stop flowing when we use negative words.”

— Ruth Fishel

Endorphins

Have you ever heard of 'runners high'?  This is an endorphin rush in the brain.  Endorphins can masks pain with euphoria, this is why sometimes you will hear about someone who has been able to continue walking with a broken leg! Endorphins only mask pain for a short period of time luckily as we need to feel the pain response to stop us causing more injury. 

We can create more endorphins through exercise, laughing and smiling! 

 

STRESS

Unfortunately the chemical we release when we feel stressed or anxious 'Cortisol' has a negative effect on most of these chemicals, that is why the most effective things we can do is reduce stress and do more of what we enjoy.  Solutions focused hypnotherapy is a really effective way of reducing stress and feeling, happier, more in control and more confident.